Megillah, March - April 2003

It's Purim Time in Bowie!!!

Rabbi Elijah Orlove
Mishu-Gaz Street
Washington, D.C. 20010

Dear Cal,

You have, perhaps, heard of me and my nationwide campaign in the cause of temperance. Each year for the past fourteen years I have made a tour of the northeast and delivered a series of lectures on the evils of drinking.

On these tours, I have been accompanied by my young friend and assistant, Moishe Kapoil. Moishe is a pathetic case, a young man of good family and excellent background whose life was ruined because of excessive indulgence in Whisky, Gin, Rum, not to mention Manischewitz.

Moishe would appear with me at the lectures and sit on the platform drooling at the mouth, staring at the audience through bleary, bloodshot eyes and I would point him out as an example of what drink would do to anyone.

Last summer, unfortunately, poor Moishe died. A mutual friend has given me your name, and I wonder if you would care to accompany me this Purim on my spring tour and take poor Moishe's place?

Yours in Faith,

Rabbi Elijah Orlove
Union of Rabbis
Who have had
Alcoholic Tantrums

P.S. Enclosed is a money order for $25.00 to aid in your transportation, should you decide to accept my offer. If not, I understand. It's also your birthday, so use it in good health. I must go now to say Kaddish for poor Moishe. May he rest in peace. R.E.O.

~KayZee